- The small things… 1. Get a stable job, 2. Have a system of saving money and have proof you know how to use it by actually saving money., 3. Get a place to live that is safe and comfortable so you can be independent (not living out of your means and end up depending on others…) but comfortable there (couch surfing is not a place to live), 4. Get a solid education so you are prepared to have a career and can build upon this, and 5. Re-read your bucket list of things you can only do single, and do those things… get them out of the way so you don’t end of blaming your partner for feeling trapped and bored…
- The BIG things… 6. Get to know this person, and know what they are like when they are stressed out of their mind… 7. Get to know their family and understand family patterns, because you will be introduced to these regardless of how much you “love” each other, 8. Ask this person to clearly define what they mean my “marriage”, “commitment”, “divorce” “having kids” and “family partner roles” so you are not surprised when after a few years of marriage, you meet their “girl/boyfriend”… when that happens you will be dealing with excuses, not commitments… 9. List TEN reasons this person would be a reasonable, loving, and responsible parent… and if you cannot list at least TEN, don’t get pregnant, and 10. Take off your rose colored glasses and try to figure out if this person is actually FUN to be with. Do you enjoy their time, company, conversation, sexual energy, discussions, listening, and talking with this person????, If the answer to this question is YES… then good… if NO… stay friends only.
- Remember… the BIG things are the SMALL things that will kill the relationship… so pay attention, be attentive, talk, ask, listen, and believe in yourself and your ability to love someone…
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