Dr. Nancy Musarra

What Do You Do When Told Your Child Has A Disability?

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Lou’s Story

“I’m learning to say, ‘Yes, I need help.’ ”

Lous

“I was in the Army for half my life. I like helping others, but I almost never ask anyone for help. I’ve always been able to do anything I needed to do and just deal with situations as they come. But once I got the call that my teenage son was in a terrible accident, I changed. Of course I stayed at the hospital for weeks. And I drove him to therapy and follow-up appointments to help him adjust to life in a wheelchair. I’ll do anything for him. However, I couldn’t do anything for me. I couldn’t do even simple, mundane things. I knew I had to take a shower, eat, answer the phone and talk to my family and friends. But I just couldn’t. I look back now and see that once my son was able to live his life, although now different, I was the one who needed help. It was an eye-opener when my 17-year-old son told me he didn’t want help, either. But he had to accept it after the accident. He said, ‘Dad, you are more paralyzed than me. Let them do stuff for you so you can get it together.’ After that, I still can’t say the words ‘I need help.’ But I say yes to those who offer. It was humbling to hear my son’s words of wisdom.”

Dr. Nancy's Thoughts

Try not to ignore the people you know well and who care. At times, we avoid burdening others with our fears and challenges because we believe others may not relate. The pressure of keeping thoughts and feelings to yourself can create additional stress. Instead, try to allow those who love you to help.

More stories and reflections like this can be found in Dr. Nancy's latest book, The New Normal: 7 Things to Know as You Care for & Love a Child with Special Needs.



Contact Dr. Nancy if you'd like to tell your story and possibly be included in future publications



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