“I’m learning to say, ‘Yes, I need help.’ ”
“I was in the Army for half my life. I like helping others, but I almost never ask anyone for help. I’ve always been able to do anything I needed to do and just deal with situations as they come. But once I got the call that my teenage son was in a terrible accident, I changed. Of course I stayed at the hospital for weeks. And I drove him to therapy and follow-up appointments to help him adjust to life in a wheelchair. I’ll do anything for him. However, I couldn’t do anything for me. I couldn’t do even simple, mundane things. I knew I had to take a shower, eat, answer the phone and talk to my family and friends. But I just couldn’t. I look back now and see that once my son was able to live his life, although now different, I was the one who needed help. It was an eye-opener when my 17-year-old son told me he didn’t want help, either. But he had to accept it after the accident. He said, ‘Dad, you are more paralyzed than me. Let them do stuff for you so you can get it together.’ After that, I still can’t say the words ‘I need help.’ But I say yes to those who offer. It was humbling to hear my son’s words of wisdom.”
