Your friend is heartbroken. They just found out their brother, sister, mom, dad or someone close to them has died. You want to help your friend… BUT…
“What should you do? What can you say?
Here are THREE things to keep in mind…
- KEEP AN OPENED MIND
There is no right way to grieve, so try your best to accept how your friend choses to grieve. No one can judge whether they cry enough, go to work too early, sleep too long or talk too much. There are no rules. So, as their friend, try to accept their unique response to their loss with an opened mind. And…
- ASK THEM WHAT THEY NEED. Do they want to go to a movie or walk in the park? Instead of you suggesting or planning what do to, give them the decision power. Sometimes people who are grieving feel some relief when they make decisions and feel a sense of control. And…
- BE THERE for them. Although people behave differently when grieving, most people who grieve feel their world is turned upside down. They may feel alone and isolated. Be a listener. Listen to what they say without correcting their thoughts, judging their opinions or stopping their tears. Listen to them share feelings (good and bad), memories (painful and joyful) and thoughts (discouraging and hopeful). Keep in mind that it’s OK to just listen and not say anything at all.
Friends who are there for each other make all the difference when life gets tough, something terrible happens and especially when someone dies. Friends know how to comfort a broken heart, listen for hours and understand how difficult this loss is for your friend to deal with. Grief is about loss, but supporting a friend through grief is about gain… and can make friendships stronger.
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