“I had to accept that I was in a real depression.”
“Somehow I made it through. But at first, I couldn’t believe my daughter, Carrie, was born with Down syndrome. I felt so bad for her, for us, and I was in a constant state of fear. This was a total surprise to us, and I couldn’t accept it at first. I didn’t realize it, but I was extremely depressed. I had to leave work, and I couldn’t sleep or eat for about three or four days. My mom had to move in with us. I tried to nurse Carrie, but she wouldn’t latch on. Some days I just sat on the couch and rocked back and forth. My friends and family were worried about how depressed I had become. I didn’t realize how bad I was.
Before Carrie was born, I worked full time as a nurse. I was organized and had family parties all the time. Now, I was in some kind of deep hole. I was unable to shower, have a conversation or enjoy anything. I had to accept that depression had taken over me, and I had to deal with it. I had to talk about it and not hide within myself. I accepted the help I needed in order to deal with fear and to find myself again. I was worried that other people would think I didn’t want Carrie because she was diagnosed with Down syndrome. It wasn’t that. It was the shock and fear about the diagnosis I couldn’t handle. Getting help for depression helped me to deal with all my guilt. I felt like a terrible mom, wife and daughter for not taking care of my baby and for worrying my family so much. Carrie is our beautiful little girl. I’m reminded of how blessed I am each time she calls me Mom.”
Dr. Nancy's Thoughts
Feeling overwhelming fear and stress can cause depression, isolation and the inability to function as your usual self. It’s not just you. A lot of people find themselves in the deep hole of depression. Get help.